Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Battling Self-Doubt

I have never been an overly confident person.  In fact, I have always been somewhat shy and intimidated by new situations.  But recently, I have been having moments of anxiety before taking leaps of faith.

A few weeks ago, when I contemplated offering my HeART for Compassion watercolor paintings in exchange for monetary gifts for our Compassion International children, the nagging voice of self-doubt nearly talked me out of it. 

Your art really isn’t very good.  No one will want your paintings. This will certainly fail.”

Lo and behold, the voice was wrong and every painting was claimed!

As I prepared for my Compassion Sunday presentation at my church, I would have moments of panic.  I would envision myself stumbling as I walked up to the podium.  I could imagine myself totally freezing up and not being able to get a word out as I faced my audience. I doubted my ability to get up and speak for this organization that I love so dearly.

Thankfully, I made it through my presentation without a hitch.

Yesterday, I was contacted by a representative of Compassion and asked if I had any interest in writing posts for the official Compassion blog. First, my jaw hit the table.  Then, I proceeded to do a Happy Dance in the middle of my kitchen. And, then, that nagging voice came again to break up my party.

Do you really think you’re good enough? I don’t know, this is a pretty big deal. Your writing ability is pretty weak. You are really going to embarrass yourself.”

It came to me that these moments of self-doubt were strongest when it came do doing things that I specifically feel have been Spirit-led.  I considered that it may be some sort of warfare that is an attempt to keep me from doing what God is leading me to do.

So, I turn to the Bible and the encouraging words that Paul has written in Philippians.

“Being confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” Philippians 1:6

Ultimately, I think the lesson for me is to take the “self” right out of self-doubt. If I do not doubt the power and ability of God then I cannot doubt the things He wants to do through me. It isn’t about me at all, I am merely the clay for The Potter. If I focus on being willing and obedient, He will mold me and use me as He sees fit.

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

Have you every struggled with self-doubt?  How do you battle that kind of thinking?

~Michelle

14 comments:

Jessica said...

I thought it was lovely that your writing was recognized the week after you admitted wishing your platform was bigger! Yay.

Also, yeah. I pretty much think that I'm talentless and suck. All the time. :)

Amy D said...

What I already told you through email. :) You've got this. You can do it. I believe in you and I'm proud of you!

Renee said...

I am so happy for you! I think you'll be a great 'official' Compassion blogger.

I also think you should bring your family up north a few hours and pitch a tent in my yard for a weekend and I will tell you how wonderful you are in person ;o)

That is a serious offer, BTW! The kiddos would have a blast!

Robin said...

Don't forget too, that you were offered this assignment based on what they have already seen from you...they know you are great!!

Congrats, this is very special, and IMHO, what you are called to do. You are so passionate about Compassion, they couldn't ask a better person for the job. :)

Jill Foley said...

This is awesome and you can do it!

Do I struggle with self-doubt - all the time. I have to get on my knees and give it to God, because I know it's not from Him.

faithlikemustard said...

Oh...I could barely read the rest after I read that Compassion had asked you to contribute. CONGRATS! You are the *perfect* blogger for that job.

For the record, I'm not sure there is a bigger self-doubter/anxiety-ridden person on the planet. It is a DAILY struggle for me. You are definitely not alone.

halys said...

Michelle, I love your watercolors! They are so beautiful and the colors capture a spirit of love.

The Burgess family said...

Yes, I struggle with self doubt too. Mine is a little different version though, where I think I AM good enough at something but I feel like other people are judging that I'm not and I wish I had a chance to give 'em a good shake and scream "Yes, I am!" Er...uh... I mean, a chance to prove myself or whatever. But whatever forms it takes, you're right that the enemy truly uses it against us to get us all tied up in knots instead of trusting God no matter what anyone thinks of us (including ourselves).

Congrats on being invited to contribute to Compassion! Your heart for this ministry really shows through, so I know you'll do great!

chipsndip4ever said...

What a great post and perspective!! thanks for sharing!! :) Tressia

Familiar Little Frog said...

Actually, I've been surprised to find that you were not already an "official" blogger for them!

Quench those "doubt" thoughts. Laugh in their ugly little faces and go for it!

LovedbyHim7 said...

Self-doubt...Yes, an all too familar companion...Really tormentor would be the better description in my life. I like your point, however, concerning it is stronger when you are stepping out in faith, doing what you believe the Lord is leading you to do. I must keep this in mind, I believe it is very applicable to my life.

Congratualtions on the expansion of your platform. Keep following what the Lord is placing in your heart. Remember: 1 Cor 2:9, " But as it is written, What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him" ~shannon

Jessie said...

"Ultimately, I think the lesson for me is to take the “self” right out of self-doubt. If I do not doubt the power and ability of God then I cannot doubt the things He wants to do through me. It isn’t about me at all, I am merely the clay for The Potter. If I focus on being willing and obedient, He will mold me and use me as He sees fit."

That paragraph right there was exactly what I needed to read tonight. Your writing is so inspirational to so many, and I can't wait to see what you write for the Compassion blog!

Michelle ~ Blogging from the Boonies said...

Reading through these comments, I see that I am not alone with these thoughts of self-doubt. I hope that we all find the "a-ha" moment that helps each one of us to remember that we are made in His image and He is on our side and is guiding us!

Your words made me smile and I do feel blessed to have made such amazing friends through this blog. What a great group of people!! :D

amy said...

you are a fantastic writer with a great heart! this is my first time over here and i love it! you are never alone in self-doubt, girlfriend. glad to see others affirm that, as well. and your watercolors. sigh. as an artist, i'm moved by them!

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