I have never been an overly confident person. In fact, I have always been somewhat shy and intimidated by new situations. But recently, I have been having moments of anxiety before taking leaps of faith.
A few weeks ago, when I contemplated offering my HeART for Compassion watercolor paintings in exchange for monetary gifts for our Compassion International children, the nagging voice of self-doubt nearly talked me out of it.
“Your art really isn’t very good. No one will want your paintings. This will certainly fail.”
Lo and behold, the voice was wrong and every painting was claimed!
As I prepared for my Compassion Sunday presentation at my church, I would have moments of panic. I would envision myself stumbling as I walked up to the podium. I could imagine myself totally freezing up and not being able to get a word out as I faced my audience. I doubted my ability to get up and speak for this organization that I love so dearly.
Thankfully, I made it through my presentation without a hitch.
Yesterday, I was contacted by a representative of Compassion and asked if I had any interest in writing posts for the official Compassion blog. First, my jaw hit the table. Then, I proceeded to do a Happy Dance in the middle of my kitchen. And, then, that nagging voice came again to break up my party.
“Do you really think you’re good enough? I don’t know, this is a pretty big deal. Your writing ability is pretty weak. You are really going to embarrass yourself.”
It came to me that these moments of self-doubt were strongest when it came do doing things that I specifically feel have been Spirit-led. I considered that it may be some sort of warfare that is an attempt to keep me from doing what God is leading me to do.
So, I turn to the Bible and the encouraging words that Paul has written in Philippians.
“Being confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” Philippians 1:6
Ultimately, I think the lesson for me is to take the “self” right out of self-doubt. If I do not doubt the power and ability of God then I cannot doubt the things He wants to do through me. It isn’t about me at all, I am merely the clay for The Potter. If I focus on being willing and obedient, He will mold me and use me as He sees fit.
“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
Have you every struggled with self-doubt? How do you battle that kind of thinking?