Yesterday was an emotionally raw day for me. I spent most of the day wavering between tearing up and going through the motions of my daily duties. After lunch, I sent my two girls to their rest and took a Compassion training call. Once the call was done, Kaya was still reading and Luna was still napping. A break in the clouds poured sunshine onto the snow and I decided to take Scruffy for a walk to the mailbox. Being outside and taking deep breaths of fresh air always seems to help when I am upset.
It is a bit of a walk to our mailbox….
While walking, I spot tracks from raccoons and deer. Cheerful chickadees scurry from branch to branch overhead.
Some days, I make this trek several times.
Lots of cardinals and waxwings can be found in this stretch of trees and shrubs. The beauty of a cherry-red cardinal in the Winter always brings a bit of a smile to my face.
My cute companion checks his “pee-mail”, as Kaya says.
Finally, the end is in sight! Almost t the mailbox!
And, I find some joy and smiles waiting for me!
My Happy Dance lacks a bit of its usual enthusiasm because of the heaviness in my heart, but I am still excited to read new letters and finally have Madina’s packet in hand. I am able to put her photo in a frame and place in the the arrangement I have on my windowsill and stereo.
It does hurt to see Nico in our family picture. But what comes to mind is this, as I look at our family: We have to trust God to watch over ALL of the children in our family that aren’t with us. We have to pray and trust that God will take care of those we cannot be with.
I am working at trusting. Thank you all for your prayers and comments and emails. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.