Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Green Eyed Monster ~or~ Thou Shall Not Covet

I’ve been reflecting on something that I experienced a couple of days ago.  Something that reaffirmed I am a work in progress and that I need God’s grace in my life.

Let me preface this by saying, I think we live pretty simply.  I don’t mind driving a car with rusty holes while many of our friends have shiny new cars.  I am ok with painted plywood floors in my house instead of nice hardwood. I am content without buying myself new clothes and with our yearly family budget of $200 for clothing and shoes.  Generally, I don’t desire more “stuff” or get jealous.

But, a couple of days ago, I was caught off guard.  A friend excitedly wanted to show me her new birthday present.  When she grabbed a black case and pulled out fancy new camera, feelings flared up in me that I hardly recognized. I managed to mumble out a half-hearted, “Oh, cool!” but inside I was throwing a 4 year old temper tantrum. ”Why does SHE get an awesome camera?!  I want one!”

I was filled with envy. For a period of time, my thoughts kept turning to why I deserved a nice camera more than my very dear friend. I hate to even admit that.

That evening, I talked with my husband about the experience.  While he was shocked to hear how I reacted, knowing that I am usually not like that, he was able to talk me through it and pray with me. I realized that, even though I have a giving heart, I am not immune to the desires for having more. I can make judgements about people who spend big money on the newest iPad or smart phone, but I was able to get a up close and personal look at what it is like to think, “I. WANT. That!” Perhaps it was just the perspective I needed.

1 Corinthians 3:4 tells us that Love does not Envy. I have been praying on that a lot the last few days. Isn’t it amazing how the Bible holds verses that will minister to any situation in our lives. This week, I will work on that Plank in my own eye and pray that I may become mindful of these things in my life that I need to work on.


Jessica said...

I can so relate to camera envy! Everyone in my family had a nice camera than more for a full two years, I think. Even though I'm the one obsessed with picture taking! This year Jeremy got me a nice camera for our 10 year anniversary. And I've certainly given it a lot of use these last 7 months. :)

Emily said...

Your post is coming at the right time for me. I don't have camera envy, but lately I HAVE been fighting some life-comparison envy.

Thanks for the verse and the reminder. God has given us OUR life to live... and it is sweet and blessed--even if (or especially if?) it doesn't look like anyone elses.

Amy D said...

I, too, know what you mean. A month or so ago, I had smart phone envy. I even placed the order for one for myself. And then regret settled in. I panicked that I wouldn't be able to cancel my order. Fortunately, I was able too. We also drive the old car, we have one room that has painted plywood for floors. I do have a nice camera, BUT I waited a long time for it and a friend was selling her extras to raise money to adopt her daughter from Ethiopia. I thought it was a wise investment for me, and it helped her bring her daughter home, so it was a win win!

We all fall victim to the green eyed monster. <3

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

I just found you on His Bondservant's blog. I just had to click on you because you have the most beautiful red hair. Both my kids are flamin' red heads even though neither my husband or I are.

Anyway, great blog! Love your heart and your authenticity. I'm a homeschooling mom, too.

God Bless! Jackie

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