Monday, March 31, 2008

Focusing on the Positive

In hindsight, I am realizing that last week's bout with bitterness may have been partially hormone fueled. While seeing a child I love being hurt for no good reason is very frustrating and upsetting, I know that dwelling in a negative headspace isn't good for any of us. Instead of focusing on what we are missing out on, what we are losing, what is wrong, I know I need to stay positive.

Nico will be coming home on Friday and we will have 48 hours to spend with her. I can't wait to hear about her fun adventures and see the pictures that she took. We will make the most of the time we have and show her just how much we love her.

It is hard to believe that she will soon turn 10. Unreal. It doesn't seem like eight years ago that Jay and I fell in love and I was introduced to his chubby, little 2 year old daughter. She was still nursing, still in diapers and barely talking. Over the last eight years, Nico and I have become really close and I love her just as much as the girls that grew within my womb. I was there when she learned to use the potty, lost her first tooth, learned to tie her shoes and ride a bike. So many of her life's milestones happened when she was with us and we have so many great memories of our eight years together. I know, even if our time together is now very short, that we have a bond that cannot be broken. I also know that I will be there for her as she teeters on the edge of the adolescent changes and learns to find her voice and speak her mind.

When I start to feel the bitterness about the current situation well up inside me, I will remind myself of the wise words in the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

1 comment:

Val said...

You are a blessing in that girls life Meesh. You really are. :)

Love Val

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